Making the decision to take your teen to therapy can be a stressful decision, especially if your teen is resistant to therapy. Here’s how to find a counselor for your teenager and what things to look for:

1. Therapist makes you feel heard, understood, and connected. Rapport, the connection between the therapist and client, is essential in developing a strong therapeutic alliance.
2. Therapist is a licensed professional that has specialized training and experience in the area that you are seeking assistance.
3. Therapist works collaboratively with you, your teen and other providers.
4. Ask friends and family for recommendations for therapists.
5. Trust your gut as a parent. If you feel a connection with the therapist and you think your teen will likely connect with them this is a great sign. Remember, some teens may not want to be in therapy and may say they don’t feel a connection, so check in with the therapist about their perspective. A good therapist will be honest and tell you what they think.

How do you present the idea of therapy to your teen?

Now that you have decided on a therapist, how do you present the idea in a way that your teen will be more likely to participate? I am lucky that many clients I see want and/or request therapy; however, it is “normal” for anyone, including teens, to not want to participate in therapy. Even if your teen begins therapy not wanting to be there, they can still gain positive skills Try the following to help your teen accept therapy:

1. Explain that therapy can be seen as a “fast track to mental health.” Get in, learn skills, and get out of therapy.
2. Therapy is time limited and can be a place to learn skills and how to express your feelings.
3. Therapy is a confidential space, even from your parents, except in the case of child abuse, harm to self or others.
4. Explain that lots of people seek therapy to gain skills, even some people that you may already know. (Because of confidentiality, the therapist can’t confirm or deny the attendance of any client).
5. Explain to your teen that you are requesting that they participate in 5 therapy sessions and after that, everyone will evaluate to see if therapy is still needed.
6. Define therapy goals so they are easier and quicker to achieve.

Remember, therapy may be a new experience for you and your teen. Now you know how to find a counselor for your teenager. It is common for everyone involved to experience several feelings at the same time. So keep in mind that finding the best therapist for your teen, presenting the idea of therapy in a positive way, and having some patience, is likely the best plan for helping your teen get help and enjoy their time in therapy!